try to improve your sense of control over your life

Pain can make you feel hopeless and helpless—and feeling despondent can make pain worse.  To escape this cycle, try to improve your sense of control over your life. Research finds that people with pain who see themselves as having greater power over their situation suffer much less.
"Don't buy into an utterly passive 'sick' role," says Stephen Post, Ph.D., author of Why Good Things Happen to Good People. "Tell yourself, 'I'm still an agent of purpose, goodness and moral creativity in the world.'"
 
There's a growing body of research showing that giving gifts, volunteering and performing other acts of kindness and altruism not only feel good but also cut pain. For example, one small study of patients with chronic pain conducted by researchers at Boston College in 2002 found that those who trained and then volunteered to help others in pain cut their pain intensity almost in half after six months. There was also a significant reduction in pain-related disability.
"They get a greater sense of purpose. You see a reduction in depression levels as well, but what's really interesting is this decrease in chronic pain," says Post.
It's important, however, that helping be voluntary, not forced. Research shows that people with overwhelming caregiving obligations—like spouses of Alzheimer's patients—are actually more stressed than others. Uncontrollable stress can increase pain.

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